Why would I watch CWG Delhi 2010?

Whatever you think of it, I am surely going to enjoy the CWG this time! Frankly before this year’s event, I thought that the only games on mother earth are the Olympics! But now that I know that there is something called CWG and that Delhi city is hosting it, I am very eager to see the games. Not to mention, the reasons are mentioned in next paragraphs of this post.

It took Leonardo da Vinci at least four years to finish Mona Lisa so what if we couldn’t get Delhi ready for the games in seven years?

During 3rd till 14th of October, I will be in Delhi cheering for Mr. Kalmadi and my country... in that order! So stop being stupid & finding faults every now and then. Yes! A toilet paper can cost INR 4000.00! We have lots (read hell) going for us.  And let's prepare for the CWG. Give up your cars, your homes … Help the city, the nation and the games!!!

Indians politics and bureaucracy is about experience! Sheila Dikshit is the world's oldest aunty running a Government and Mr. Advani, the world's oldest dreamer of being a prime minister (I guess he still does dream). Suresh Kalmadi is the world's longest serving chief of a sports body (apart from Fidel Castro or someone with that name). These are things to be proud of for all of us Indians! After all, we are also proud to have the oldest parliament (in terms of age of the MPs) as well.

Day before yesterday, we people living in NCR felt the tremors of the earthquake. All of Mayawati's statues in NOIDA have survived the earthquake as well. She surely used unadulterated cement, any questions? And for those who don’t know, the earthquake in Delhi was a planned test-case - to see if the stadiums and flyovers will hold to the ground & will not succumb to the quake. Given how bad the traffic in Delhi is, it takes some time even for the tremors to travel from Delhi to NOIDA to Gurgaon to Faridabad to Gaziabad!

For that matter, Delhi citizens needn't be alarmed by tremors that were felt 2 days back. It's just the usual for us living in NCR. Digging roads and building them, again digging them, have some cables lying on the roadside, some cement bags here and there, some iron rods … its really very usual for us. No surprise in that for NCR people.

The CWG has also helped Delhi to be ‘Air Ready’! I mean, just think of the new Airport (or runway, whatever it is). It’s awesome! We should really hope and look forward to no ATC/Radar failure and for sure the guests will be able to land here. Immigration staff at the airport will be working and not chewing paan and will cause less pain the eyes of the visitors.

So what if stars like Usain Bolt are not showing up? (I also heard from sources that Usain Bolt is running his fastest from the CWG 2010 and Mosquitoes) Our own stars will shine! We shall bring in several medals. The stadiums will have tracks which won't be submerged because there are not tracks there! You have to build the ‘lane’ in your head while running! The Games Village, which was unveiled and opened to the guests couple of days ago, will have water in taps and will not be itself in water. The mosquitoes will not be the ones which cause dengue, but the ones which are gentler on human body! Well, the CM of Delhi has already confirmed that ‘Delhi is Dengue Free’. I guess she meant, Dengue is Free in Delhi!

Trust me, I came to Delhi in 2003 and since last two odd years, it’s not the same city that it was! Well, it’s not the same if you visit the city in a week’s time these days. Thanks to CWG! I think, Delhi looks like Mohenjo-Daro (मोहन जोदड़ो) when it (मोहन जोदड़ो) was rediscovered in 1922 by Rakhaldas Bandyopadhyay, an officer of the Archaeological Survey of India. You find more cranes in the city than you will find at any of the archeological survey sites in the universe! The cranes and the operators look like a deadly combo, which is on a mission to ‘re-discover’ Delhi! I think it should be declared heritage city with great walking tours because no cars can move on the roads these days and you have to be superhuman to walk on the Delhi roads.

(मोहन जोदड़ो - Could have been transformed into a CWG City with INR 34,000 Crores i.e.USD 7.5 Billion!)

I also think that Delhi should be declared world's first athletic city now. You have to jump so as to walk & you use all limbs to ward off Mosquitoes and manage the never ending potholes on the roads. The city will also become a heritage city soon (or it had already become one). With those loads of rubble lying everywhere, I think it's a sheer competition to मोहन जोदड़ो in 1922.

Many of the military services can also have Delhi as an ideal training venue. Where on earth a soldier can get more challenges than Delhi? And why you think these games are called ‘Common Wealth Games’? It’s not clear to me after seeing all this mess. When the Government is using ‘Common Man’s Wealth’ how can you NOT name the games ‘Common Wealth Games’? Do you have any answer? Then just shut up!

We are also offering a high speed train for the visitors from all over the world, to take them to Agra. But my only worry is, if they are crossing NOIDA mid-way, they might confuse Mayawati's statue for the Taj!

I think we will also take good care of the CWG athletes. By serving them spicy Indian food!!! It will kill two birds in one stone. First, the guests will enjoy real Indian spicy food and second, by the time they figure out where the latrine is, the games will be over. All the medals will be won by Indians and South Asian countries, which are used to spicy food!

The opening ceremony is going to be a high voltage affair. Now with a 60 Crores Rupees balloon, how can you expect something less? The ceremony will be a good show of our own (and usual) Bollywood stuff (do we care to showcase anything else to the world at such events?). And with the ‘cool’ (or cold?) theme song, we might as well fall asleep at the beginning of the ceremony itself!

ADVISORY FOR DELHI CITIZENS from DholiBaba: Schools are closed during the games, so send your children away. This is the best way to keep them away from mosquitoes (and Dengue) as well. Give up your travel and cars; else you might end up paying heavy fines for travelling on the CWG lanes. We have been used to filth and corruption all these years; don’t yell so much this time. Its national pride after all (read it ‘corruption’ or ‘games’ at your own 'discretion'). Enjoy the games!!!