Aftermath: When IPL is 'Nationalized' ...

Its quite funny that I couldn't put my hands off the IPL sleaze. Like everyone else on the earth, I also got hooked to write something about the IPL (it's called by so many names these days - Indian Political League, India Panga League etc). Its amazing how the politicians have all the time in the world to debate on this not so important for the nation topic than debating about terrorism, poverty etc.

Well, I was watching the TV news channels (for fun only), I saw a politician saying, "यह IPL को  'Nationalize' कर देना चाहिए. Government को इसका control ले लेना चाहिए!" I got what I wanted after seeing this - my share of happiness and fun -:)

After that though provoking 'thought', the various memes running around my brain got activated and sort of a lift to write the 'Aftermath' of this 'IPL Nationalization'! So here are some of the things that would happen after we see the IPL being 'Nationalized'. All the characters mentioned here are real but the thoughts have been fabricated by 'Dholibaba' -;)

So here is my list of things. The IPL Nationalization 'Aftermath' -

  • People who do not call Sachin "God" will be termed pseudo-secular.
  • Salaries of players will be as per "Pay Commission" recommendation.
  • All debate deadlocks in Parliament will be solved by a Super Over.
  • The Prime Minister will give his message to the nation before start of a season.
  • All 3rd umpire decisions will be referred to the Liberhan Commission.
  • Spectators will throw chairs to umpires for wrong decision.
  • We'll have a Jayalalitha Blimp flying over each stadium. Awesome!!!
  • We will have two CPI sponsored Strategic Bandh for 2.5 minutes in each innings!
  • After IPL is nationalized all appeals for lbw must be submitted in triplicate with a copy to the match ref. and Sports Minister.
  • Dogs running into the ground will have support from Maneka Gandhi.
  • Obama would call up Manmohan Singh if Pakistani players are given a snub.
  • Sledging will be possible only after getting "A" certificate from the Censor Board.
  • Khap panchayats will outlaw same gotra partnerships and ask for a change in ICC rules.
  • Every suicide in Andhra Pradesh would be linked to Deccan Charger's performance.
  • Ravindra Jadeja would get justice after 15 years, that too after throwing a shoe at Shilpa Shetty.
  • Amar Singh will replace Danni Morrison.
  • Umpires will not be able to listen to the sound of ball hitting the bat because of Mamta Banerjee in stands.
  • The pitch will be dug up everyday to lay cables for the tv, mic, etc.
  • Franchisee not opting for any UP city will be declared anti-dalit.
  • Arundhati Roy will cry foul & write 36 page essay on why the team that finished last should be declared the winners.
  • Corruption cases and shady dealings won't look out of place!
What do you think?